Querencia Final

   As my legs take me through the narrow door of my house, I immediately go to my room, take off anything that makes my body feel heavy, and literally drop on my ever-so-welcoming bed to take off the weight of the day. I slowly remember everything from today to the day before and so on, and these various feelings keep piling up. Sometimes I can't even imagine the things I did or what I was even feeling at certain moments.In my room the window is partially blocked, so my room is a bit dark and hot from the low amount of air flow that makes it hot, but it still feels better than outside, where everything has a different kind of heat, not the temperature heat, the attention heat, that feeling of doing something that pushes people the wrong way and makes your body hot or saying something without thinking and at that moment your body just starts heating up.

   I try to forget some things and take the stress out on games and calm myself down with loud music, When I even get the slightest bad memory it sends a cold shiver down my spine, that if someone was standing beside me it'd probably look like I just randomly straightened my back in a sudden way, sometimes it might even make me lose my focus in a game and I get even more stressed. Sometimes when the thoughts flow with each other well, My reflexes allow me to flow well enough to be around the top ranks in a game. I absolutely love the though of winning, this thought makes me forget about everything, as long as its a fair win and I felt as if I completely won, but if I lost I'd probably be screaming to the heavens on every little mistake that caused me to lose and of course become more stressed. As I start to blink and I can't seem to lift them up, I turn off whatever I was playing on and crash.  After everything that happened throughout the day, I lay in my bed silently looking up, close my eyes, roll around, stretch, then make the most awkward squeel a human being can make, and rest for the next thing coming after my long rest